


Darcy and the Sickness of Eternal Doom

by awesome_goddess_of_mischief



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, BAMF Darcy Lewis, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn | Frost Giant, Loki Feels, Redemption, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Triggers, redeemed loki
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-20
Updated: 2015-06-20
Packaged: 2018-04-05 08:40:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4173300
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesome_goddess_of_mischief/pseuds/awesome_goddess_of_mischief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Darcy falls ill and Loki blames himself, as usual.<br/>But Darcy doesn't take shit. </p><p>Also named: "Stay with me."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Darcy and the Sickness of Eternal Doom

**Author's Note:**

> This is horrible. I started writing this an hour ago. I literally have not read it once. So it's full of typos and mistakes. I am going to bed now, but in the morning I will fix all mistakes. I just wanted to post it already XD 
> 
> [I edited it in the mean time, but if you find mistakes, don't hesitate to let me know :)]
> 
> Be careful of your own triggers. Triggers for major self-hatred and selfharm.

Another painful cough wrecked through Darcy's body and she tried to catch her breath. Bruce gently placed the oxygen mask back on.

\- * -

"And?"  
"Her temperature stopped rising. It dropped half a degree, but that might be a measurement flaw. We won't know anything more until tomorrow morning. Sir, I suggest you try to catch some slee-"  
"No. I'm staying here." A dark haired god snarled at the poor nurse. He was standing on the other side of a window separating him from his Darcy. Although she wasn't truly his to keep...

\- * -

The intern and the redeeming god. It could have been the title of a bad romance novel. As Loki was banished to earth to redeem himself, he had been living with Thor. However, the god of thunder had moved to Stark tower with Jane.

And so Darcy and Loki had come along.

In the beginning the two just had occasional... "I'm bored, what shall we do? How about each other?" ...sex.  
But then, against his own wishes, the god of mischief grew to care for the silly mortal. Said mortal had been crushing over the god since day one, so she didn't see the problem.

But Loki... Loki knew he had issues, a lot of them. Being tortured into taking over a realm by a mad Titan did that sort of thing. The mortals called it "PTSD", apparently it explained his nightmares.

It did not, however, excuse the fact that he was a monster who should spend the rest of his horrid life working to pay for what he had done. And even if he would be completely forgiven for the damage on Midgard, even being alive was a crime on its own.

And now... Now it was certain he could never save his soul from eternal damnation. For he damaged the one pure thing in his life. The one he already did not deserve. _Could_ not deserve.

He made Darcy fall ill.

\- * -

He should have known. He should have kept his distance, let the mortal live her own happy life. But no, he _had_ to let his darkness creep into her light.

There was a disease, a sort of germ, living in the Jotnar. It helped them fight against the cold.  
It didn't affect the Æsir.  
It did affect humans.

If he had stayed away... She never would have been infected. But as soon as he kissed her...

\- * -

He couldn't come near her again. His _existence_ was literally enough to make her ill. Yes she should be immune to this disease now, but what if he carried something else around?  
What if she wouldn't be this lucky next time? The doctors said it... Just a few hours later and she would have had a heart attack. She would have _died_.

Darcy was still half dazed from the fever and coughs periodically wrecking though her body, so she barely noted the spot of green and black slipping in.  
Cool, soft, lips pressed against her overheated hand, before disappearing. "Farewell, Darcy... Please forgive me... I do not deserve your forgiveness... But I do not think I could live with knowing you despise me. I will work hard to pay for this. Although it will never be enough. Perhaps... Perhaps you can think of me sometime?" Another soft kiss on her knuckles, this time it lingered as if afraid to pull away. "I'm so sorry." The whisper turned even softer. "I love you, Darcy Lewis. But you were never mine to keep. Farewell... I wish you all the happiness a monster does not deserve." The words may as well have been imagined, so soft, and gone sooner than a whisp of wind.

The black and green spot disappeared, and the mortal woman kept sleeping peacefully. Unaware of her love leaving her side forever.

\- * -

The end

\- * -

\- * -

\- * -

\- * -

\- * -

\- * -

What were you thinking? We are talking about Darcy freaking Lewis here.  
The moment she woke up with her fever down, she asked for Loki. When she was told he asked to be placed at a base in freaking Iceland, she cursed everything and everyone allowing him to leave, and crawled out of bed.

She punched Fury in the face when he tried to order her to stay put, and glared Tony into loaning her one of his private planes. Bruce came with her though, he was worried about the disease not being completely healed yet.  
It was a good thing, since she almost passed out in the plane. She wasn't strong enough yet, and pushed herself too far. Bruce gave her something to eat, and made her sleep during the flight.

\- * -

She almost ran out of the plane, jumping in the waiting car -thank you Tony- and speeding off.

\- * -

Loki was sitting curled up in a corner of the small bathroom next to his small bedroom. He had asked for this base because it was the most remotely located. And he asked for this room because it was the smallest, tucked away in a corner of the base.

If he would have gotten his way, he would be sleeping outside, with the other beasts, but SHIELD insisted on keeping an eye on him. And so he was forced to bask in luxury he did not deserve.

One of his blades was twirling around in his hands, cold steel barely brushing across pale skin, just enough to be noted.  
It wouldn't be this easy. A mortal could just slip a knife and be saved from all this pain. But not him. He would heal before bleeding to death. Blissful silent death, where he could no longer harm anyone.  
But until the day he was finally able to die, he would have to make himself pay for his existence. The cold steel pressed against the pale skin, and then the pale skin didn't look that pale anymore. The red was a macabrely gorgeous contrast with the white arm. And the pain, oh, the amazing pain. That was all he deserved. All he should get.

Only there was a stubborn mortal who did _not_  agree.

\- * -

Darcy wasn't even stopped at the entrance of the base. They were warned about her arrival and the almost murderous state she was in.  
The door of Loki's room was almost swung from its hinges as Darcy kicked it in, not even bothering with knocking.  
Without blinking she walked over to the god in the corner and pulled the knife from his bloody hands, throwing it aside and sititng down in front of him. She silently took his arms in her hands and started gently cleaning the cuts with the things from the first aid kid she brought. She knew him. And this wasn't the first time.

Loki didn't say a thing. This may just as well be a hallucination. Or perhaps they had both died and this was some form of torture in Hellheim.

"You're an idiot."

Or maybe Darcy was really here...

"The next time you want to take a holiday, pick a sunnier spot." She said casually as she watched the cuts heal themselves as they always did. "This humidity is horrible for my hai-"  
"You should leave." Loki interrupted her softly.  
"Nope." She said with a popping p. "Can't do. You see, there is this weird ass dude, who I _love_ , who apparently thinks it's okay to leave his sick girlfriend behind."

"No, I didn't... I didn't mean it like that! It's better if you go home. I'll stay here. It's better. Please Darcy, you should be somewhere safe."

"Yeah, no. Screw that."

Well he certainly hadn't expected that... "I... What?"

"Can't do that. I'm not leaving you. Because I love you and I want to stay with you. So suck it up, I'm staying. I punched Fury to get here. So I can hardly go back empty handed."

"Stay...? I... No... You should..."  
"Still not happening." She insisted as she curled up against him and closed her eyes exhausted. She still wasn't fully healed.

"...alright..." Loki whispered oh so softly as he carefully  wrapped his arms around Darcy's shoulders. He loved her. He could never deny that. And perhaps, for the short time that she would be interested in him, he could stay. Just for now. For her.

\- * - 

Things weren't fixed. Things weren't magically better.  
Loki had Bad Days.

But he was getting better. Slowly but surely.  
Darcy never asked him to leave. Instead she asked him to stay, every day. And Loki could never deny her request.

Years later she asked him to marry her.  
And Loki could, as usual, never deny her request.

\- * -

She never stopped asking him to stay.

He never left again.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked it, thanks for reading :)  
> I might turn this into a series of TaserTricks one-shots.  
> You can leave a comment if you have a request!


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